That Strange Calm

At this point in my life, I’m experiencing the calm after the storm. I can see it in my head; the sky has cleared and the white-capped, violent waves have disappeared. All that’s left is clear blue everywhere. All I hear is the sound of silence. And it’s strange. In some ways it feels like the storm never happened. Part of me even misses the sound of the thunder, as crazy as that might be.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. An age-old, heavy weight is slowly being lifted from my shoulders and, again, it’s strange. I can’t seem to find any other word to describe it. Something that I thought defined me is evaporating into thin air and I can’t help but wonder where it is going. What do you do with the sudden calm? What do you do with the anger, sadness and resentment that belongs in the past? I’m not sure yet. I guess you let it go.

Today I met with an ‘old’ school teacher. It was comforting for me. I know this teacher helped make me stronger, and guided me through the most challenging part of my young life. I always marvelled at her unwavering belief in me during my school years and how she went out of her way to help me in any way she could. The part that is always most moving for me is that she becomes emotional when she sees me. She wanted happiness for me even more than I wanted it for myself at the time.

So, as I sat there with this teacher I hoped she knew how much I appreciate everything she did for me.  And I really hope that, like her, I am the sort of person who gives my unwavering belief to someone else to help them through a tough time.

Because even though this calm I’m experiencing is strange – it’s what I have been waiting and hoping for.

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